Step one: Go to www.breakupnotifier.com
Step two: Log in with Facebook
Step three: Choose the friends-who-aren’t-really-friends-but-more-like-people-you-want-to-date-at-some-point-in-the-future-if-they-would-just-dump-their-loser-significant-other
Step four: Get an email when those friends’ relationship status changes
Step five: Listen to the video below, which accurately characterizes the person you’ve shown yourself to be…
Wow, it was only a matter of time.